Technically, a Bar Mitzvah is not the name of a religious service or of a social event. You do not “have” a Bar Mitzvah. Rather, a person “becomes” a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. This is the title they are given at the age of thirteen signifying they are on the threshold of adulthood. (B’nai Mitzvah is the plural form of Bar or Bat Mitzvah). As they become B’nai Mitzvah, our students are taking their first major steps to becoming responsible adults in the Jewish community and in the world. As they continue on their Jewish journeys, we teach them that they will make choices of how Judaism fits into their lives and how Jewish values will shape their actions as caring human beings. They learn that they can become partners in the work of tikkun, of healing the world and fulfilling the Prophetic mandate for the universal recognition of human dignity, the loving pursuit of justice, and shalom. They learn to ask questions about what they can do to make a difference.

Our students are affirming, publicly, that they are part of the conversation, and our community is responding with a resounding “YES! We believe that you have something important to say, and we are ready to hear you.”

In this spirit we encourage each student in conjunction with their family to participate in a mitzvah project of their choosing before or after their celebration. These projects signify a commitment to taking the Jewish value of tzedakah and social action seriously and to carrying forward this commitment into action.

Because Jewish learning does not end when a child becomes a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, we encourage all B’nai Mitzvah students to continue in our Academy program through Confirmation. Many of our B’nai Mitzvah find other ways to remain engaged with Jewish life and community by volunteering in our religious school as teacher assistants, or by taking on other projects within the synagogue.

Sinai Free Synagogue takes great pride in making every Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebration special. Every child has their own service, and we do everything possible to work with each student based on their skills and talents to maximize their sense of accomplishment and pride in Jewish identity.

We focus the preparation to fit the needs of each individual student to ensure that on the day of the celebration every student is prepared, confident, and at ease. In the months leading up to becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, our students are given opportunities to chant prayers they are learning, such as the V’Ahavta, at Shabbat services so that they gain confidence as they proceed in their preparations.

The Rabbi and Cantor are devoted to personalizing every service for the B’nai Mitzvah and their families and guests. During the ceremony, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah leads the congregation in much of the service, chants Torah and/or Haftarah, and presents a personalized speech called a D’var Torah in which the student shares how the Torah portion is relevant to our lives today.

The parents, and sometimes grandparents, also have the opportunity to share personal blessings for their child and to present them with a family heirloom such as a tallit (prayer shawl). As a welcoming and diverse community, we also encourage non-Jewish family members to participate, as appropriate, from the bimah.

In addition, the Rabbi and Cantor make great efforts to actively engage those in attendance with explanations, communally read prayers and joyous singing. Many of our guests often comment after the service how touched and moved they were by the experience.